How to Get Paid to Sing Karaoke

Microphone in FistA friend asked me last weekend why I didn’t show up for the men’s choir practice at our church. I replied that my singing was so bad that, when the crowds get a bit unruly, some local bars hire me to come up and do a karaoke number at closing time to clear out the place. It’s safer and cheaper than using bouncers and had the happy side effect of letting them skip a week or two of rodent control.

While that might be a slight exaggeration, I did resign myself to the fact that my singing days ended at the same time puberty hit me and my voice changed. And I have anecdotal data to back it up.

When my fraternity participated in a Greek Week singing competition our choir master had each of us try out individually. He rated us as poor, average, and good in voice quality and strength. He marked me down as average in quality and good in strength. I was actually pleased–until I ran across his notes later. He had crossed those marks after I left and put down his true opinion: poor and average, respectively. When I missed practices no fuss was made.

And during a company party I did a few karaoke numbers with a group of close friends. But I noticed that for the finale they invited everyone else up in the team–except for me.

Don’t think that I’m complaining. I’ve been blessed with a number of talents and work on others that capture my interest. As far as voice, if I worked with a coach I’m sure I could become a better–maybe even passable–singer. I sometimes think I should keep in mind baseball great Lou Gehrig’s response to a reporter who asked him why he was expert in so many aspects of the game. Gehrig  replied, “I worked at what I wasn’t good at.”

BadNoteWhen I sing at church I can “make a joyful noise” and contribute to the volume while those more talented make up for my lack of quality. As far as my solo singing talents I’ll continue to use them where they seem to be best suited: pest control.

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About Dennis

Author of The Last Apostle. Teller of Almost True Stories of Life and former Air Force officer. Write for the love of the story. Sometimes speak for food.
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3 Responses to How to Get Paid to Sing Karaoke

  1. rjbrooke@comcast.net says:

    They say if you can sing well, you sing & Praise the Lord. If you can’t you sing & pay Him back.  

    Going to get my nose done finally Monday. God willing.

    YIJC mom  IN GOD WE TRUST

  2. Anonymous says:

    Dennis, you take after your dear mother!
    love & prayers,
    auntie ugler

  3. DeAngilo Bryant says:

    I Sing Karaoke Every Friday & Saturday Nights at the McDonalds in Olympia fields Illinois & at the highland Indiana Karaoke off of route 41 in Indiana & I Enjoy & Everyone I Perform In front Love Me For It But At First I Was Scared To Perform Infront Of People At My High School That I Graduated From & I Had Friends Encouraging Me To Show My Skills In Singing In front Of All The Teachers & Students At My School So Then I Got Word That McDonald’s Had Karaoke So I Went & Blew A lot Of Peoples Minds By Singing Songs From MJ BSB JB CB JT Neyo Nelly One Republic Creed Nickelback Three Doors Down 3 Days Grace & Many More But What Got Me Was There Were No Songs From Trey Songz Lupe Fiasco Mindless Behavior Skillet Limp Bizkit Linkin Park & Many Other Different Artist But I Didn’t Let That Bother Me!…. So Here Is My Question How Can I Get Paid For Only Singing Karaoke On Friday & Saturday Nights From 6 – 9:30?

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